To clarify, it’s 31 times counting both sides of the fam.  17 on mine and 14 on his.  There’s one more to be added to the number this year, can’t say who because it’s not public knowledge yet… all I can say is, unfortunately it’s not coming from my oven!  All this labor and baby goings on has started making my uterus tingle.  There’s the very content side of me that is so happy with my four and feels comfortably busy/hectic/outta-my-mind-insane.  I’m so glad that sometime this year we will be done with diapers after 7 very long years with them as a house guest.  I’m happy to see an end in sight of the never-ending war for dominance between me and carseats (who the heck made them so darn difficult to get in and out of a vehicle?! Especially when you have them in a second row back seat!  It was obviously someone who loves to inflict undo stress, grey hairs and sweaty armpits in the outfit that you just spent the last 30 minutes working on, with a 18 month old biting at your ankles while you tried on 6 different outfits [it would have been more if you had anymore in your closet to choose from that still fit you after popping out yet another almost 10-pound-er out of your once tiny little frame], trying to find the one that best hid your shoulder blade fat, your extra flap of skin that hangs over the waist of your pants and doesn’t show your knees.  ‘Cuz, well, you just can’t stand your knees).  Where was I?! 

Oh yes! One side of me is very happy with my number of offspring and relieved to move on to older child happenings and leave the baby paraphernalia behind.  But then there is the other side…. (dun-dun-dunnnnnn!)

That’s the side that would keep having my husband’s babies until my uterus fell out.  Because, well, frankly, we make great babies! (I’m not biased in the least I’ll have you know)  And because I’m a baby junkie.  Did you know there was such a thing? Yep.  There was actually a study on the hormones that your body releases when you have a baby and those hormones actually work like drugs to your body.   So yes, I’m an addict and my drug of choice is labor, delivery and BABIES!  There’s just nothing like it.  Although I do admit, I’m happy to have it be someone else’s body going through the rigors of labor and pain of delivery.  And someone else’s poor worn out body being woken up every few hours during the night to nurse (although I did love nursing, it was just the loss of sleep that I didn’t care for).  And someone else having to constantly be switchin out soggy nursing pads (TMI anyone?? Just making sure you realize how crazy I am my world must be if this is all common talk to me), lugging diaper bags around that are big enough there should be a mule to pack instead of you, wearing spit-up stained clothes everywhere she goes and having her hair in a constant ponytail – oh wait!  Mine still is!!! Oops!  Guess I didn’t realize I could take it out now.  

But ooohh!  The smell of a newborn baby. There is nothing like it.  To feel that warm, squishy, slippery little bugger as he/she’s placed on your belly and you meet for the very first time.  And the joy of introducing your newest addition to everyone near and dear to your heart.  To gaze at your hubby bending over his new, sometimes not so little, bundle and whispering proud papa talk that’s for their ears only.  To see the wonder and instant forever-love on your children’s faces as they meet their new sibling for the first time.  To experience that tiny fist hunt for, find and curl around your finger as you snuggle down to nurse.  To feel warm baby breath brush the side of your neck as your baby snoozes contentedly on your shoulder.  Do I need to even go into the heavenly scent of baby soap and lotion?  

So to wrap up this extremely long rant on the confusion I feel over babies.  I’ve prayed a lot over this very topic and come to realize, wanting to have more babies is how God made me and something I will probably never “outgrow”.  But there is peace and there is contentment in looking at the four He has already blessed me with and knowing that I have the perfect family for me and my hubby.  And that now it’s my turn to start loving on other babies and telling their mamas what good jobs they did growing, birthin and caring for their precious new bundles….

….because I remember how much it meant to me to have other women love on each of my new babies and soothe my worn out, new-mommy nerves by telling me what only another mother would know that I needed to hear.