I’ve noticed for a while now, the trend in movies and on TV, to show actresses eating with not just a big spoon or fork, but a HUGE one.  I was sure this was a trick of the eye, to try and make the actresses seem even smaller and daintier than they were already.  But I really thought it was pretty ridiculous.  What “real” person would even have a spoon like that in their house, never mind use it to eat with! 

Here’s the part where I have to confess, earlier this week, while dishing up a nice dainty little helping of vanilla ice cream for myself, I decided to try it out.  After all, I’d just used a serving spoon (not one of those big ol cooking pot spoons!  I have to draw the line somewhere.  But one of those that you use to dish up food at the table)to dish up my very small helping of ice cream and why would I cause more work for myself by using another spoon to actually inhale eat it?  So…, I, umm… used, aaahhh… a, umm… HUMONGOUS spoon… Yes, I did.  And not only THAT, but I actually, ummmm, well, I enjoyed alright?!!!  Happy now?!! 

I did, I really did.  I DID feel dainty.  I DID feel feminine.  I DID feel like a size 2.  Well, maybe not that last one.  And then today, when I was eating my child’s-sized portion of ice cream again, (you know, ‘cuz I’m all about portion control. Yeah, uh huh) I used a serving spoon again.  I think I’ve found my new “thing”. =0)

But it started me thinking, and mind you that doesn’t happen very often, about digging spiritually.  How often do I break out the baby spoon when I’m sitting down to do my Quiet Time?  Now, if I were a new Christian, that would be fine, the Bible says it is, “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.”I Peter 2:2-3, NIV

But I’m not.  “But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”  Hebrews 5:14, NIV.  I’ve grown up in a Christian home, had great Christian role models for parents.  Sadly, it really hasn’t been until the last year or so that I’m starting to mature in my walk with Christ.  Folks, I’d been eating with a baby spoon for WAAAYYYY to long!  God must have been looking at me and seen the ridiculous sight of teen aged follower of His, trying to sustain herself on one little tidbit at a time of His love, His wisdom, His Grace, of HIM!  I was a spiritual anorexic.  And like most anorexics, I was oblivious to the fact.  When I looked in my spiritual mirror, I saw and believed the lie that I was “fat” on Christ and couldn’t see the real me like Christ could. 

But then something changed.  Through many, many, many different areas in my life, I kept getting convicted about not doing my Quiet Times.  So I committed to doing them.  And through my personal Bible Study and the women’s Bible Study at my Church, I’ve finally started on my road to spiritual maturity.  I’m not sure that it’s even possible for us to reach spiritual maturity, but I think the lessons are in the journey.  In the quest.  And we are never to give up.  Because there is always an area of our life that needs work.  There is always something new that God wants to show us, to challenge us with, to grow us with. 

But back to The Spoon… I’m so done with spiritual baby spoons.  Heck, I’m done with the spiritual “normal” sized spoons that society and sadly, often our Churches, today tells us are what’s practical and all that we should need.  I want to dig in, every day, with my humongous spoon!  I don’t care if it looks ridiculous.  I don’t care if people think it’s an “eye” trick.  That it’s all for show.  The results should be testament enough to God’s amazing Grace and Unconditional Love in this once spiritual anorexic’s life.

So try it, toss aside all inhibitions and break out that big ol spoon for your next bowl of cereal, ice cream or whatever.  And as you use it, think about your walk with Christ.  Are you starving yourself and have turned a blind eye to your slow spiritual death?  Is it time to throw out your baby spoons and your “normal” spoons so that only your big ol honkin’ spoons are left to use?  Go ahead, hold up that huge spoon and think, really think about it.  Don’t believe the lies that Satan’s been feeding you, while he crosses his fingers and hopes you are distracted enough with Life, that you won’t have time to turn and face that mirror of Truth. 

Because if you are like me, it is not a pretty sight.  I couldn’t even begin to put on my spiritual Armor of God.   

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of Gof so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be abe to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”  Ephesians 6:10-17 NIV

The Breastplate of Righteousness hung off my boney shoulders.  His Belt of Truth didn’t have a hole far enough up for me to buckle it and keep it above my hips.  And who can hold up the Shield of Faith or the Sword of the Spirit with muscles too weak to even lift a big spoon?  Ohh, my head was still big of course.  Lack of food doesn’t change that much.  I could still wear my Helmet of Salvation.  I wasn’t going to loose that.  But it sure looked silly on me when the rest of my body didn’t match what it proclaimed to everyone around me. 

Slowly, often slower than I care to admit, I’m filling out spiritually.  Like all anorexics, it’s a life-long battle.  One moment of complacency, on step away from my mirror of Truth, results in a slide back to the baby spoons.  As much as I loathe it, as much as I despise myself for my weakness, it’s a fact.  If I depend on myself to get the nourishment I deem necessary, well, it’s like physical food, I go for the junk. The fluffy stuff that really means nothing in the bigger, God-sized scheme of things.  I have to rely on God and on His ultimate wisdom to show what I need to be focusing on.  Because it should be all about Him. 

And in my weakness, HE is made strong.

Big Spoon, here I come!!