Problem was, it wasn’t a cloth diaper.
Yeah, that’s right. The Queen of Multi-tasking (it’s a pet name I gave myself) threw a load of laundry in the washer this morning, trying to get a head start on the day by getting laundry done early. 45 minutes later, I paused the homeschooling, the cooking, the weeding, the canning AND the dusting (am I convincing anyone? No?! What?! Ya don’t believe me?! You’re right, everyone knows I hate dusting…), to switch the load to dryer. I opened the lid and blindly reached inside and grabbed a handful of clothes. As I brought them up to eye-level, I gasped at the sight of white stuff all over my handful of dark clothes.
“Man! I hate it when I miss a tissue! Who on earth left a tissue in their pocket?! No one’s sick or suffering from allergies, there’s no reason to even have a tissue near a pocket!” I fumed to myself. But, upon closer inspection, I realized that this substance had a gel-like texture to it. It wasn’t linty at all. In fact, it almost looked like little balls.
I was at a loss. I couldn’t think for the life of me what this stuff could be. But I started grabbing clothes and shaking them outside to rid them of as much mystery substance as possible. I was still wracking my brain when, as I shook out another handful of clothes, a diaper flew out. And not a little diaper. This puppy weighed about 69 pounds. Apparently, last night, when I threw the stack of dirty clothes in the laundry after bathing the kids, I hadn’t realized that there was a diaper in there somewhere.
As I continued cleaning out the washer, I found myself thanking the Lord that it was only a pee diaper. After all, it had two of my brand new, favorite tops in the load. Forget everyone else’s clothes, it’s not very often that mom gets new items to freshen up her dull wardrobe with!
All of a sudden, I panicked. I remember that last night’s diaper, before showers, was a POOPY one! (I’m sorry friends , it’s definitely TMI but I just have to share every emotion and thought) My first reaction was to dry heave. Phew! With that out of the way, I continued down the path of reactions… hysteria, screaming, crying, gnashing of teeth, and frantically checking the necessary parts of the diaper to see if there was anything left… but there was nothing there.
Now, I love my washer and dryer as much as any other mother who has experienced truckin’ loads of laundry to a Laundromat after a washer has kicked the bucket (toting a toddler to top it off), but my washer isn’t THAT good. There’s no way it could wash out and dispense of every single hint of a stinking dirty diaper from a FULL load of clothes. So what was up?
Then I remembered. Hallelujah! That nasty diaper from the previous night had been disposed of right away. So this diaper must have been a previous, only pee-ed in one. And the clouds parted and sun streamed through, illuminating my four munchkins who clustered together and broke out in the Hallelujah chorus. It was a beautiful moment.
And then reality hit with a thud. I still had a washer full of gel balls to clean out. And a wet load to run through it again. Had to be sure I rid my new clothes of all gel residue before hanging them up to dry. Those gel balls? Not so easy to clean up. You know how hard it is to drag those little boogers off a baby’s fanny when the little darlin has sat in a wet diaper just a tad too long? What I mean to say is, I’ve heard how hard they are to actually wipe off and not just drag around in a figure 8 pattern from one chubby, dimply fanny-cheek to the other. I’ve never experienced personally. Nope. My children were/are always changed every 43 minutes exactly. Uh, huh. That’s right. See my halo?
What?! You don’t?! Darn it! Where’d that thing go? I know it’s around here somewhere…
it’s probably right next to my “Mother of the Year” award and my “Leader of the Laundry Fairies” Trophy…