No, I’m not going to “hound” you (get it?! Man I crack myself up!) with disgusting tales regarding the making hot dogs, don’t worry.  I love hot dogs too much to get within 10 feet of a tv program or youtube link that divulges that information.  I’d rather keep my blinders on and continue chowing down on ’em, thank you very much. 

No, this is a little ol story about real dogs… in heat.  Oh yes, I’m going THERE!  I think a topic like this is pretty darn close to writing about your own female cycles so I shall try to type delicately so as not to offend any male readers… I just have to vent a bit.

Lucy, our just-turned-9-months-old Boxer, is in the throws of her first cycle.  Bed Buddies 3 emailNow before you all jump on the Spay/Neuter Bandwagon, I’m already on it.   There’s a couple reasons why we just haven’t had it done yet.  First off, I had no idea she’d start so early.  Seriously, an 8 month old puppy being a mama?!  Yikes!  Second of all, I had read a theory that if you wait until after the puppy’s first cycle before spaying them, they tend to settle down and mature faster.  While I was contemplating trying this method out, Hubby and I hadn’t actually come to a decision yet. 

So Lucy made it for us. 

Did you know that dogs are in heat for almost a MONTH??!!!  I think if I’d been aware of that fact earlier, I’d have been waiting on the vet’s doorstep the very next morning with Lucy in my lap, begging for him to squeeze her in that very day. 

Another not-so-fun fact: Dogs in heat are messy.  Did you know that?  Pet shops sell these funky diaper strap-on thingies for this very issue.  Think about that though for just a minute.  Seriously, who wants to change one of those?!  That’s just as bad as having to hose down the patio every evening.  That was the option I chose by the way…. hosing down the patio on a daily basis.  Course, it probably wasn’t the cheaper choice.  Given our current drought issues, the water was probably just as expensive as the Doggie-Rag-Pads.  Oops!  Sorry. That wasn’t very delicate at all, was it?! 

Go to fullsize imageThankfully, we don’t have a lot of strays in our neighborhood.  In fact, the only ones I see are usually neutered neighborhood escapees.  So I wasn’t too worried about Lucy finding a Baby Daddy… That is, until a lovely friend of mine pointed out the fact that coyotes roam the area on occasion (usually when their food becomes scare and they decide the neighborhood kitties would make a nice snack) and oh, how funky-looking of a litter would Lucy have with a coyote!!  … and then she laughed.

It’s amazing to me how, as soon as one realizes one’s sweet, innocent puppy is in heat and there’s even a remote possibility that a hornymale coyote is nearby, one suddenly begins to doubt the sturdiness of each and every fence board and post that is involved in the perimeter of one’s backyard.  One begins a sunrise/sunset inspection ritual that involves a visual and “wiggle” check of each fence board.  Oh and don’t forget the daily hole digging check too… on both sides of the fence line.  One never knows when said puppy might try to dig her way out in shear desperation or a testosterone-pumped, leather-clad, slick-haired, bad-boy coyote might try to dig his way in.   You know, if the fence happens to hold up against the brute-force attempts.

Needless to say, I’m feeling very OCD lately.  Ever watch “Obsessed” on A&E?  That’s me right now.  I check the gate latch only about 50 bazillion times every day.  Even though 6 months ago Hubby installed a spring hinge on the gate so that it will close itself after he a child has walked through and forgotten to close it.  Nope.  Doesn’t matter.  I still have to check it.  Thankfully I can see the latch from my kitchen window.  Otherwise, I might sweat a few pounds away with those 50 bazillion daily checks in our 100+ degree summer heat.  And we couldn’t have that now, could we?!Tongue email

While the fact that MY dog being in heat is mighty depressing to me.  The stories of other people’s dogs in heat are still pretty funny.  Pioneer Woman’s Innocent-city-girl-exposed-to-the-wilds-of-the-animal-kingdom story is HILARIOUS!  You must go read it.

I’m headed there again just so I can laugh and break up my OCD a little for this hour of the day.

Then I have to go do a perimeter check.