The braces are off my friends!!!
And all I can think about is how badly I want them back ON.
Pathetic isn’t it?!
Retainers aren’t all they are cracked up to be, let me tell you. My ortho tweaked the bottom one because of a slightly wayward tooth that he wanted to fix. So the bottom retainer is really tight. It hurts so bad to pop it off and on that I seriously consider whether or not I need to eat at meal time. I mean, how hungry am I really?! And how important is it that I brush my teeth with the retainers off?
I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I know I have to eat (otherwise I wouldn’t be able to take the Advil that’s pumping through my veins right now without getting sick) and I know I have to brush everything in my mouth separately… I just don’t want to.
At least with braces I could still talk.
All of a sudden, I have a lisp, I can’t enunciate and no one can understand me. I feel the need to explain to everyone I talk to, especially complete strangers, the reason “forth whyth I thpeakth the wayth I amth”.
To top it off… gulp! I’m so embarrassed to tell you…
I’ve even whistled a few times while speaking! We’re talking, a mid-sentence, totally loud WHISTLE resounding from my retainer.
Isn’t that horrifying?! When it happens, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I should just immediately stop and holler out over my shoulder, “Train’s a comin’! Get outta the way!!” and then calmly turn back around to the person I was talking to and continue my sentence.
Think that’ll distract from the random retainer-whistle or draw more attention?! lol. Course, it’d sound more like this:
“Twainth a comin’!! Geth outtha wayth!!”
The absolute cherry on the top of all this is I get to wear these babies, 24/7 for a whole year! Then I get to go to just at night time.
Oh glory days.