The braces are off my friends!!!

And all I can think about is how badly I want them back ON.

Pathetic isn’t it?!

Retainers aren’t all they are cracked up to be, let me tell you.  My ortho tweaked the bottom one because of a slightly wayward tooth that he wanted to fix.  So the bottom retainer is really tight.  It hurts so bad to pop it off and on that I seriously consider whether or not I need to eat at meal time.  I mean, how hungry am I really?!  And how important is it that I brush my teeth with the retainers off?

I’m kidding, I’m kidding!  I know I have to eat (otherwise I wouldn’t be able to take the Advil that’s pumping through my veins right now without getting sick) and I know I have to brush everything in my mouth separately… I just don’t want to.

At least with braces I could still talk. 

All of a sudden, I have a lisp, I can’t enunciate and no one can understand me.  I feel the need to explain to everyone I talk to, especially complete strangers, the reason “forth whyth I thpeakth the wayth I amth”.

To top it off… gulp! I’m so embarrassed to tell you…

I’ve even whistled a few times while speaking! We’re talking, a mid-sentence, totally loud WHISTLE resounding from my retainer.

Isn’t that horrifying?!  When it happens, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  Maybe I should just immediately stop and holler out over my shoulder, “Train’s a comin’! Get outta the way!!” and then calmly turn back around to the person I was talking to and continue my sentence.

Think that’ll distract from the random retainer-whistle or draw more attention?! lol.  Course, it’d sound more like this:

“Twainth a comin’!! Geth outtha wayth!!”

The absolute cherry on the top of all this is I get to wear these babies, 24/7 for a whole year!  Then I get to go to just at night time. 

Oh glory days.